My Art of life

Schon wieder ein Ding in Englisch...Darin kann ich mich halt am Besten ausdrücken...Und es hat mir sehr geholfen...Ich musste mich einfach mal abreagieren...Und es hat geholfen...Ich hoffe, in nächster Zeit wird wieder Effektivieres von mir kommen...Vielleicht endlich das langersehnte Kapitel von Surprise2, wer weiß...

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My art of Life

I don’t know what to do…I’ve been restless for weeks now… I can’t sleep, it’s so painful… I’m happy when I’m able to relax for some hours before the daylight comes…I can’t even write something useful.
All words I bring down on to the white paper are just weak and pityful…Not deep, not emotional enough to present what I feel, what I want to say with them.
Sometimes I think I’m a little girl in a far too big world. I cry before standing up from my bed, untouched by sleep…
I just want to be me, want to live free….But then I see all those picturesof murder, death, diseases and the impersonated hell… And I get touched by it. And I feel like it’s the truth. It’s a circle I can’t escape from. I want to stand it, I want to get cold so I can endure it, but I can’t.
I hope that someday I’ll wake up and see a world full of happiness, light and love.
I wonder how somebody can live with this world, with THAT.
Every day a new report of war, innocent deaths, poverty…Heaven’s cruel, and I’m a part of it. I secretly watched the humans in my near and realised something, when they ran through the streets without noticing anybody. And I asked myself how the could survive with such an attitude like this. Not caring about others. I thought about the future, how it’ll be in 10 years, 20 years…100 years. Will there be anybody who’ll think about this the same way like I’m doing now? Or will all those souls be gone to ab better place of living like the last escape of suicide?
I often cared about living on like that. I don’t want to become like all those others. I don’t want to become cold, but for surviving you must become like them. You get affected by their deeds…
But is this life? A world without emotions? People who even don’t realize their neighbours and the suffer of somebody?
Humans who only have their own little world, including just themselves and again themselves?
No, that isn’t life…
But I finally get back the ability of writing…
Well, at least one pleasant thing at this useless day…